NCR: National Corporate Radio News

No new show this week ... but we've only got twelve years worth of archives to choose from, so you'll still get your fix. This week, take a portal to five years ago today, when Borrin spoke with then Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, the late NCR Fossil Daniel Snorr, BBC Investigative Reporter Craig Bombast and, late in the broadcast, Pat Robertson! God be praised. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 in tha pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin chats with a man that the UK's Parliament declared “not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company.” But, as he also (probably) owns this network, Borrin was compelled -- quite literally -- to give him a fair shake. It could have been worse: at least Borrin wasn't raped by Rupert's dog. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, May 8, 2012 at a time in the pm.

In this episode, Borrin talks with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich on the day of his announcement about making an announcement about finally, formally exiting the race for President. Newt explains history, bookkeeping and shame to our clueless liberal host, who is wrong. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, May 1, 2012 at a time in the pm.

In this special Earth Day episode, Borrin takes the temperature of our Mother Earth with a panel of broken thermometers: former Vice President and professional award winner Al Gore; Chevron lobbyist and "energineer" Dusty Steernuts; and Internet-educated scientist and a regular contributor to NCR, Dr. Anton Le Yummy. At least there's one thing they all agree on: it's time to move to a new planet, because this one is fucked. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, April 24, 2012 at 7:30 ish in the pm PST. Artwork courtesy Sebastian Millon http://sebreg.deviantart.com/art/Have-you-trashed-the-Earth-151357796

It's Tax Day, and that means it's time for host Borrin Onley to host a debate about taxes. Too much taxes? Too little? How should those dollars be spent differently? Where's my free money? Joining Borrin to help him find it are two diametrically opposed blowhards: on the right, "Sporty Guns" host Russell Smithennenenenennenen; on the left, liberal sad sack Robert Shrill. Not much is learned, except perhaps that Robert might need boner pills ... and he wants your tax dollars to pay for that. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 7 ish in the pm PST.

This week, with the announcement of Rick Santorum's departure from the race, it appears Mittius "Mittens" Romney's path to the nomination is made clear. But who is he? Tune in to this interview from last October to learn more about Mittens -- and Mormonism -- than you ever should know. Also, there's some politics. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, October 25, 2011 at 8 ish in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin treats us to the first interview with former Vice President and Dark Overlord Dick Cheney, who is fresh out of the hospital with his new, human heart. Where did he get it? Does he think he is special? And what effect has it had on his notoriously gruff personality? Listen and learn. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, April 3, 2012 at 7:30-ish in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin talks with Geraldo Riviera (or is it Rivera?) about what we can do to stop the murderous toll being exacted on the youth of this nation by the scourge of hoodies. Geraldo reminds us why he's the kind of guy who tends to get punched in the face. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 at 7:30-ish in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin has a nice chat about our nation's "All of the Above" energy policy with Chevron lobbyist Dustin "Dusty" Steernuts. Dusty explains why Chevron needs to get their drills deep into Mother Earth's folds: this is just what mother frackers do! Dusty also explains, with alarming clarity, exactly what Chevron means when they say "Human Energy." This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at 7-ish in the pm PST.

It's All Things Condescended, NCR's signature news program that brings you all the horror of the day in a calm, inoffensive tone. In this edition, you'll be treated to an interview with the President; a lesson in civility from Newt Gingrich; some story about the economy; ways to worry about the Greek debt crisis; and a guest commentary just for the ladies from televangelist Pat Robertson. Also, you'll get the latest headlines in convenient suppository form, and a word from our sponsors, er, underwriters. This program was recorded lately at The House of Honky Bean. Next week: something a little simpler.

It's Super Tuesday, and that means an exciting Special Edition of What's The Point? Borrin examines the dynamics of the race with liberal squealer Robert Shrill and prostitute connoisseur Rush Limphog; chats with Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin; and endures a victory speech, of a kind, from Rick Santorum. Added bonus: Borrin helps Rush find a way for Sandra Fluke to owe Rush an apology! This will be the last show in America that will still grant air time to that Oxy-poppin' man. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean, with a minimum of edits, on Tuesday, March 6, 2012.

In this special Republican primary edition of "What's The Point?" Borrin talks with reporters in the field, Sir Ian Nigel Smith-Johnson Hegemony Woodcock Trafalgar Wellington-on-Kent (a Briton)in Michigan and David Solkenfolk in Arizona; goes in-depth into the number-crunching with elections analyst Nate Splinter; sits breathlessly as tonight's big winner, Mittens Romney, rivets a crowd with pandering pablum; and considers what it all means with commentators Robert Shrill and special guest Chuck Norris. For your own safety, you'd better listen. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean and elsewhere, recently.

It's Car Squawk, the NCR program that offers car advice for people who think their cars can be fixed over the phone. In this special Valentine's Day edition of the show, The Asshat Brothers, Buzz and Flap, take a call from Dave, who has some kind of whirring problem in his front wheel well; read a letter with questions about the proper way to go about lovin' on those long road trips; lovingly review the new Porsche 911; and help a lovelorn redneck snag the woman of his dreams with the help of a welding project. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, February 14, 2012.

It's a special Florida Republican Primary Edition of "What's The Point?" featuring all your favorite assholes: thrill to coverage from reporters in the field, British man Ian-Nigel Smith-Johnson Hegemony Woodcock Trafalgar Wellington, of Kent (a Briton) and NCR pathetic alcoholic Thom Gelatin; and understand less than you did before with insight from NCR panel guests Rush Limphog, Robert Shrill and Howie The Hippo! You can't lose. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, January 31, 2012.

In this NCR News special, "What's The Point?" host Borrin Onley sort of moderates a Republican debate between Governor Mitt Romney and Speaker Newt Gingrich. From the definition of "traditional" marriage to Mitt's taxes to Newt's disgust with Borrin's "shameful" media elitist status, this debate will hopefully teach you, if nothing else, how to acquire your own planet in the afterlife. Mitt doesn't think it will cost you very much money (i.e. less than $5 million.) This program was recorded live at The House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, January 24, 2012.

In this action-packed special edition of "What's The Point?" Borrin covers the New Hampshire as it happens with special guests Rush Limphog and Robert Shrill. They're assisted by reportage from NCR correspondents in the field, Nigel Smith-Johnson Hegemony Woodcock Trafalgar Wellington (a Briton) and good ol' fuckface, Thom Gelatin. Additionally, you'll get a victory speech from Mitt Romney, and a ... speech, from Rick Santorum! It's more than you can fit in your mouth, and yet you'll still be hungry. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, January 10, 2012.

It's the 2011 Year In Review Show! We review the Year That Was with a superior panel of newsmaking idiots: President Barack Obama, The Donald Trump, Colonel Moamar Qaddafi (maybe), Rupert Murdoch, Rick Perry, John Boehner/Boner and Robert Shrill! Host Borrin Onley doesn't do much to wrangle them all as they wring their hands over what was, what is and what will be. If you want to be ready for The 2012, heed the words of your overlords! Nuff said. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Monday, January 2, 2012 in the pm PST. Next week: Rick Santorum?!

Ten years, and two days ago, on December 18, 2001, we, The People Who Do That, unveiled something new at the old killradio studio above the Good Luck Bar. We called it National Corporate Radio. A parody of NPR, this seemed like the ideal vehicle for mocking our newly christened War On Terror. We had no idea what mayhem we had kicked off that day ... who knew we'd still be doing this stuff (in some form or other) ten years later? Happy Decade, NCR. We maybe biased ... okay,we are ... but we think you've covered it better than anyone else. Happy Holidaze to you all!