NCR: National Corporate Radio News

In this episode, host Neal Barbarian speaks with Fox News emotionist and hyperventilator, Glenn Blech. Whether you never heard of him, or you ignore him, or you hang posters of his sobbing face in your family rec room, one thing you can't do is ignore Mr. Blech. Unless you ignore him. Many on the Left accuse Glenn of spreading hate, or spewing hate, or fomenting hate-fueled violence. On the Right, Glenn is seen as an "everyman," albeit a heavyeveryman, who speaks to patriotic, real Americans with great appetites, but no voice. Only Neal, Glenn and your own conscience can determine who really loves America, and who's trying to eat it. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 7:30 ish in the pm.

In this edition, Borrin talks about The State of the Union, one year into the Obama Presidency, with none other than the President himself. Speaking to Borrin from space from while floating in Air Force One, the President who ran on a promise of hope, change and death to white people answers Borrin’s torrent of surpisingly worthless questions. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean, and in space, on February 2, 2010 at 7:30 or so in the p.m., PST. Apologies for the BAD sound quality! Won't happen again.

It's All Things Condescended, Our News, For You™. In this archived episode, attend to a window into five years and one day ago today … when President George W. Bush was being sworn into his second term by Darth Vader … newly minted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice contemplated invading Iran with a new device, the Islamo-fascist killing Muslaser … televangelist James Dobson was damning gay rights advocate and kitchen utensil, SpongeBob SquarePants … and NCR Fashion Correspondent Frannie Botox explained the great new plastic surgery procedure that removes excess personality. Stupider times? Maybe … This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 at 7 something or other in the pm PST.

It's Blather of The Nation, a show that features issues of great import to our nation, brought to you by people incapable of appreciating their importance. In this episode, host Neal Barbarian talks with former Presidents Bush and Clinton about working together to coordinate the cooperation of managing the direction of enabling the sending of the relief aid to photogenic sufferers devastated by Haiti's ginormous earthquake. Can these two controversial figures photo op their way to victory? Neal will never know. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on January 19, 2010 at 7:30-ish in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at the earthquake in Haiti with special guests, televangelist Pat Robertson and conservative radio host Rush Limphog. Was the earthquake divine punishment for Haiti, or is Pat Robertson divine punishment for us? Is giving relief to victims of this earthquake encouraging people to die lazily, or is President Obama just trying to score political points by being a compassionate humanitarian? How could Rush be righter? This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on January 19, 2010 at 7:00 in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin examines the topic of Terror in the Skies! From underwear bombers to security breach kisses and drunken idiots at 30,000 feet, can we still expect to be safe in passenger planes? How can we protect ourselves from suicidal maniacs, hopeless romantics and alcoholics? Is there one device that can keep us safe from them all? Would you like to sniff my package? Joining Borrin to answer these genuinely intriguing questions are two guests who know a lot about packages: former Homeland Security director and head of Chertoff Enterprises, Michael Chertoff; and Ian Nigel Smith-Johnson, a counterrorism expert and professional Briton. Stick it in your jumper. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, January 12, 2010 at 7:30 in the pm PST.

No show this week. My Dad passed away. He was a really good guy. He did not always find this show funny -- not even I do, really -- but he had a great sense of humor, and I know he was proud of me. I was lucky to call him Dad. He will be missed ... and celebrated among the living.

Back next week. Thanks for tuning in.

It's the Year In Review 2009, and to commemorate the occasion, Borrin discusses everything from the terrible economy to health care to climate change with a variety of guests who aren't liberal at all: Sarah Palin, General Stanley McChrystal, Crazo Institute Chief Economist Lindsey Brinksman, Joe Lieberman, Rush Limphog and Internet-educated scientist Dr. Anton Le Yummy all weigh in on The Year That Was with generous helpings of unmitigated stupidity. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, December 29 at 7:00 or so in the pm, PST. See you in 2010!

In this archive episode of "Fluff Air," host Veri Gross discusses the recent economic downturn with NCR (now former) Manager Ruth Seymore and Santa Claus; Veri gets some great holiday shopping tips from a fabulous team of makeover moguls, Life Coach Ronn Pardu and Personal Psychic Designer, Donn Darpu; and Veri examines the return of pirates off the coast of Somalia with two real Somali pirates: we'll call them "Jeff" and Harvey." Arrrr. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on December 16, 2008 at 7:30 pm or so PST. Next week: 2009 in review. Oh, yes.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at the science of climate change. On the eve of what could be a landmark deal in Copenhagen to combat global warming, what does the science suggest? What is the best course of action, and what’s feasible? How do we know the threat is even real, or even if it is, if there is anything we can really do to stop it? And don’t leaked emails change science? Joining Borrin to muddle through it is NCR Climatographist Ira Frodo. This program was recorded on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at &;30 ish in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at the long-awaited Copenhagen Climate Summit. With the recent leak of emails suggesting maybe global warming isn’t such a big deal after all, are the leaders of the world’s most powerful taking the threat seriously, or is it all just a lot of hot air? Would it be safe to say that that journalistic pun is the only thing we’re successfully recycling? And most importantly of all, can a positive outcome in Copenhagen stop Borrin's Haagen-Dazs from melting? Joining him to talk about it are people who think they know: former Vice President and professional climatophile, Al Gore; and NCR Very Senior New Analyst and lukewarm windbag, Daniel Snorr. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on December 8, 2009 at 7:30 in the pm PST.

In this archive episode, Borrin observes that it looks like America's Big Three automakers will get a bailout from Congress. But how much? Are the Big Three worth it? What if they just spend it on drugs? Joining Borrin to talk about that or something like it are GM CEO Rick Wagoneer, Senator Chris Dodd, and NCR Very Senior Commentator Daniel Snorr. On Reporter's Scrapheap, Borrin gets quite a scoop: the first post-arrest interview with Illinois Governor and recent arrestee Rod Blagojevich. What a peach. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on December 9, 2008 at 8 pm or so PST.

After more than 30 years of whining, pleading, and sulking around, NCR General Manager Ruth Seymore is finally retiring. Who will replace her? Could it be any worse? And what will Ruth do now? Joining Borrin to hash that out are two very important guests: outgoing NCR General Manager Ruth Seymore in studio, and on the line from his whaling frigate in the South Pacific is former Scamron CEO and incoming NCR owner and General Manager, Rich Whiteman. Smell the pizza. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, November 24 at 7:30 or so in the pm PST. Next week: Get The Past On.

In this episode, Borrin asks if trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammad, the so-called mastermind of 9/11, in a federal court is the appropriate venue or not. Joining him to say "hell no" is former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, a man who can't stop saying "9/11". Borrin asks Rudy about the upcoming terror trial and a variety of other events ... and gets an exclusive scoop! Listen and find out The Big News. Special guest appearance from Michael Perrick, aka Crimebo the Clown! Check him out at www.crimebo.com This program was recorded on November 17, 2009 at the House of Honky Bean, sometime in the afternoon.

In this episode, Borrin follows the continuing saga of health care legislation as the front line wends its way to the Senate. Will a health care bill be "dead on arrival" there, or can a promised filibuster be broken and the seemingly unattainable goal of meaningful health care reform in the United States somehow be reached? Joining Borrin to contemplate these questions are two Senators and one nobody: Senator Joe "Joementum" Lieberman, Senator Lindsey "Girl's Name" Graham, and NCR Very Senior Commentator and Forgotten Pile of Old Skin, Daniel Snorr. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the p.m. Next week: Something Else.

NCR is on the road this week, so in lieu of current events, we turn once again to the vault. In this archived episode from 2006, Borrin asks if cartoon depictions of the Prophet Muhammad are by their very nature offensive to Muslims. Joining him to ponder that question is a cartoon depiction of the Prophet Muhammad. This program was recorded live at killradio on February 7, 2006 at the usual hour. Next week: swine flu? Or health care? Can we have both? Yes we can.

In this episode, Borrin observes that apparently the United States is still at war. Who knew? In the past several days, fourteen Americans lost their lives in Afghanistan, while Iraq saw the worst bombing there in more than two years. What’s going on? Why isn’t this crazy shit over with? Will President Obama decide to keep our troops engaged in these wars, or expand the wars, or bring the troops home? Or will he magically make everyone get along and stop being assholes while interest-free credit flies out of his Presidential colon and green energy powers our spaceships to Planet Gay Marriage? Joining Borrin to consider at least part of that are one esteemed guest, and some other guy: General Stanley McChrystal and liberal columnist Robert Shrill. This program was recorded a the House of Honky Bean on October 27, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the pm PST.

Back after a month hiatus, we clearly missed some important events in the news: the Dow edged back up past 10000; President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize as he weighs sending more troops to Afghanistan; the G-20 summit in Pittsburgh saw world leaders come together to denounce Iran’s nuclear ambitions and sort of consider curbing their own; big corporations like Pacific Gas & Electric, Exelon and Apple quit the US Chamber of Commerce over a difference of opinion on climate change; and health care reform has limped forward about two and a half inches from where it was when we last talked about it. And yet, out of all these major stories, nothing was really more important, more compelling, more indeed historic, than the amazing, heart-wrenching story that entered all of our lives late last week: the story of Balloon Boy. This is the first program to be recorded at the New House of Honky Bean (our first actual house!) at 7:30 or so in the pm PST.

To commemorate the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, Borrin speaks with former Vice President Dick Cheney about how he felt that day, what he thinks about President Obama, and how he plans to sell us all out to the alien overlords in 2012. NCR News will be on hiatus for a little while, due to a big move followed immediately by a vacation. It's complicated. But in the interim, you will be treated to some of the best NCR has to offer: all four NCR CDs, in order, in their entirety, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned ... This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean (last one in this apartment; next one will be in our actual house!) on Tuesday, September 15 at 7:30 or so in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at the resignation of Van Jones, who served as President Obama’s White House Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation until this last weekend. Mr. Jones found himself in the crosshairs of Glenn Beck, host of the aptly titled “The Glenn Beck Program,” and many believe Mr. Jones was forced to resign as a result of the controversy around him generated by this one talk show commentator. Does this mean Glenn Beck is powerful? Should the Obama administration have resisted caving into pressure from a right wing TV pundit? Where do I go to get balls like that? Joining Borrin to answer these and other pressing questions is the Ballmeister himself, Mr. Glenn Beck. Also joining them for no particularly good reason is NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr. Let the histrionics begin. This program was recorded live at The House of Honky Bean on September 8, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the pm.

In this episode, Borrin wonders if we're any closer as a nation to achieving the late Ted Kennedy's dream of universal health coverage. Joining Borrin to wonder about it is a true titan of American capitalism and a terrible human being, Scamron CEO Rich Whiteman. Also joining both of them later in the program is Zombie Senator Ted Kennedy, who now leads the Zombie Senate. Too soon? Yes. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on September 1, 2009 at 7:30 ish in the pm PST.

No show this week ... just this song, which thanks you kindly for your patience. If you work in customer service, feel free to replace your hold music with this tune, gratis.

It's Sporty Guns, a program for men who love sports, guns, God, America, American guns and our American God, with your host, Russell Smithennnenenenenennen. This week, Russell has a very special guest on the show, and it might even be true that he’s not a queer: Vice President Joe Biden. The two of them talk politics, sports, and many subjects you should never expose your children to. They also fire off a bunch of weapons, as is the tradition on Sporty Guns. You'll see. This program was recorded live at the House of Honky Bean on July 28, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the pm.

It's Bookweasel, a highly literate show tailor made for anyone too sophisticated to enjoy pop culture. In this episode, host Alouicious Thornberry sits down with highly acclaimed actor, writer, director, photographer and poet, Leonard Nimoy, and shows him no deference whatsoever. Is it logical? Not so much, and neither is the man who is/is not Spock. This program was recorded at the isgoodradio on Stardate 0602009 at 7:30 pm PST or so.

In this episode, Borrin explores the topic of foundering faith in America. Is our nation becoming less religious? Why has God forsaken us, or did we reject God first? Does that make us cooler than God? How can we be cooler than something that doesn’t exist? Does God exist? Is this thing on? Joining Borrin to answer these technical as well as existential questions are no esteemed guests. Instead, he's joined by Internet-educated scientist and research fellow at the Poseur Foundation, Dr. Anton Le Yummy; evangelical leader and founder of Focus on the Family, Dr. James Godson; and NCR youth correspondent Travis McCormick. This show is so fucking ridiculous it actually made us break, which I thought about cutting but instead, I left it in. This program was recorded at isgoodradio on March 10, 2009 at 7:30 in the p.m. PST.

Want to tune in to our Inauguration parody, but just don’t have an hour to spare? As a bonus, we’ve included here the NCR version of Obama’s Inaugural Address, all by its lonesome, for your listening pleasure. Feel the hopeful change as you hear this inspiring and profoundly stupid speech. Thank you and God bless this funky country.

It’s a Special Inauguration Edition of All Things Condescended, with a juicy “What’s The Point?” inside! And it is a doozie. Hear a report from the raucous streets of D.C.; a “What’s The Point?” retrospective of Bush’s legacy, featuring Lawrence O’Rabia, Condi Rice, Daniel Snorr, Pamela Des Barres, Travis McCormick, Jar Jar Binks, Dick Cheney, Mara Rightwing and the 43rd President himself; the Inauguration ceremony, and our new President’s Inaugural Address; a sales pitch for Barack Obama commemorative crap; extensive coverage of President Obama’s prodigious Inaugural balls; and, surprises, of the supernatural kind. Wow.

A new era has begun. It’ll be a challenging one, particularly for satirists. But every step, half-step and misstep of the way, NCR will be there, misguiding you through the icy waters to come. Hang on tight!