NCR: National Corporate Radio News

Finally, we return and not a moment too soon. In this episode, Borrin is granted the rare privilege of an interview with Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. The former beauty pageant winner and flutist discusses the economy, the terrorism embodied by Barack Obama, and the joy of maverickism. But the program gets far more interesting when a surprise guest arrives: Senator Barack Obama, who is somehow able to be in the NCR studio and the second debate in Tennessee at exactly the same time. Suffice it to say that things get very ugly, and that's as much Borrin's fault as anyone's. This program was recorded live at killradio on October 7, 2008.

We really had planned to be back with a new show this week, but NCR had to suspend new programming in order to save the economy. We're doing a heckuva job on that, as you can see. We expect to have this shit fixed by next week, honest ... but until that time, here's the first show from this year. Borrin reviews the election returns from the New Hampshire primary (it seems so long ago now) with NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr, Democratic strategist James Carville, and Republican strategist and hip hop activist, Karl Rove. This program was recorded live at killradio on January 8, 2008 at about 7 pm PST.

Sorry, really we are. Our nation needs us. Back next week.

Our Editor-in-Chief filed an interview about our current financial woes, but as he chose to interview a sea turtle and a spinner dolphin named Captain Wiki Wiki, it is unfortunately useless ... instead, this week we bring you another episode from the vault. This one features a stirring Vice Presidential debate from the last time we had to put up with this shit; an interview with a futurologist who didn't know shit; and a conversation with Mount Saint Helens, which is full of shit. Enjoy responsibly. This program was recorded at killradio on October 5, 2004 and is also known as "#36."

With our Editor In Chief away in Hawaii and apparently lost in the surf, it's an encore presentation. This episode of "All Things Condescended" (#52 for those academics out there) comes from nearly three years to the day, a different time when the impact of terrible phenomena like Hurricane Katrina and the nomination of John Roberts to the Supreme Court were just starting to really sink in. Feel the nostalgia for a short time ago. This program was recorded live at killradio on September 20, 2005.

We return next week with either more nostalgia, or something new. Only time can tell.

In this episode, host Lawrence O'Rabia observes that the Palin pick for VP may have the power to prop up McCain, but can the bounce last as long as Bob Dole's boner pills? Joining Lawrence to contemplate this and other potential dysfunctions are erstwhile lump in the corner and NCR Very Senior News Analyst, Daniel Snorr; Vice President and Shadow Emperor Dick Cheney; and the VP pick himself, former Monty Python star and current Governor of Alaska, Michael Palin. Confusion reigns as Lawrence and friends try to understand what this British man is doing in the center of American politics. This show was recorded live at killradio on September 9, 2008 at 7:30 pm or so PST.

Indeed, this is NCR coverage of the Republican National Convention ... in '04. Our Editor-In-Chief is out again this week, but we hope you enjoy the impressive convention speeches from Republican luminaries like Laura Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger, exciting armchair quarterbacking from useless people like Terry McAwful, and warm, evil grandma sentiments from Big Mama, Barbara Bush. Taste the pain, the Republican pain! This program was recorded live at killradio on August 31, 2004.

We'll be back next week with fresh coverage of the latest calumny.

Due to Editor In Chief Derek Iversen's terrible choice of timing his wedding to Brazil-ian Gold Medalist Christine Pinto Bean, NCR News must regrettably miss a ripe opportunity to torpedo both political conventions. Instead, join host Neal Barbarian for an encore presentation of "Blather of the Nation." In this program, Neil asks a number of questions that may or may not include: Did immigrant bashing help Sarkosy to win? Why didn’t France elect a woman instead? Does France hate their women, or do they just want to keep them in sexy maid outfits? Are France’s men actually women? What does this election mean for Franco-American relations? Is it really necessary to keep talking about how the French fucked up in World War II? Should we let it die, like they let their Jews die? Joining Neil to consider these and other questions are Monsieur Peu de Fromage, a godless communist Frenchman; Bull O’Leilly, a brilliant cable talk show host; and Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of England. This program was recorded live at killradio on May 8, 2007 at 7:00 pm or so PST.[

It's National Corporate Radio’s Special Olympic Coverage of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. This is not coverage of the Special Olympics, so please, no retard jokes. Rather, this is NCR's Special Coverage of China's Olympic games, with exciting sports commentators like NCR's Russell Smithenennenn and Daniel Snorr; coverage of all the major athletes, from American Michael Phelps in the People's Glorious Pool of Swimming to Indira Kundalini in the gold medal hunt for Olympic sex; and Chinese oppression on a grand, Olympic scale. NCR is proud to bring you detailed descriptions of sporting events that ought to be seen and not heard, and we're honored to report the Olympic games in Beijing in a non-controversial and censor-acceptable way. This program was recorded live at killradio on August 19, 2008 and features the ever-effervescent People Who Do That alumnus, Jonathan Furst!

In this episode, Borrin takes a walk on the "dark side." Five days after the terrorist attacks of September 11, Vice President Dick Cheney appeared on "Meet The Press" with the late Tim Russert and announced that in the newly minted War On Terror, intelligence officials would "have to work sort of on the dark side." What did he mean? Was he referring to the dark side of the force? A new book called "The Dark Side," and the accompanying movie adaptation, "The Clone Wars," may shed some light on the darkness. Joining Borrin to shed some light are several guests: Galactic Senator Jar Jar Binks, Jedi Knight Mace Windu, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, and the Emperor er, Vice President himself, Dick Cheney. This program was recorded live at killradio on August 12, 2008 at about 7:30 pm PST.

In this episode, host Borrin Olney asks, "Will the 2008 summer Olympics in Beijing help us to get a lower interest rate on our Chinese debt?" The answer is worse than the air quality in the Olympic Dome, by which we mean, terrible. Guests include Russell Smithenenennnenen, host of the NCR program "Sporty Guns" and a real Olympics enthusiast; and Daniel Snorr, NCR's Very Senior Commentator, News Analyst, and Bronze Medal winner in the Bronze Age. This program was recorded at killradio on August 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm or so PST.

Well folks, it's a busy week. So instead of looking at the present, today we look back nostalgically to about a year and a half ago, when Our News For You was just as ridiculous as it is now ... but more scripted.

Fresh next week. Meanwhile, enjoy the jokes of yesteryear today!

This program was recorded at killradio on January 10, 2006 at about 7 pm or so PST.

In this episode, Borrin joins Senator Barack Obama on his whirlwind tour of the Middle East and Europe. Aboard Barack's fabulous new campaign jet, and somewhere in the middle of a heavy martini bender, Borrin demonstrates how deeply in the tank he is for the Senator with a series of largely sycophantic questions. This program was recorded somewhere or other on July 22, 2008 at around 7 pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin wonders if America can respond to the current energy crisis in a way that will make Dick Cheney even more wealthy. President Bush has now lifted the ban on offshore oil drilling. Is there anything to stop him now from drinking your milkshake? Considering this and some other stuff slightly related to energy policy are three people you should not invite into your home: former Vice President Al Gore, GOP Presidential candidate John McCain and NCR's Very Senior News Analyst, Daniel Snorr. Be forewarned: Senator McCain has more than one violent outburst in this program, perhaps the result of having been a POW, or now being a vampire. This program was recorded live at killradio on July 15, 2008 at 7:30 pm or so PST.

In this episode, Borrin asks how fucked the global economy is, and if it is something that can be un-fucked. Joining him to consider these and other silly questions is a panel of guests either directly responsible for the crisis, or too useless to contemplate it effectively: NCR Numbers Correspondent Snide Beguiler reports from the G8 Summit in Japan, while Borrin is joined in studio by former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Greenspan and Openwide COO (and former Scamron exec) Franklin Benjamin. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, July 8 at about 7:30 pm PST.

In this episode, host Lawrence O'Rabia asks, "Will you gay marry me?" The California State Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples now have a constitutional right to marry. That's got conservatives steamed, and they've put a measure on the ballot to make gay marriages illegal. Should gay Californians have the right to marry? Should it be banned? When only outlaws get gay married, does that mean all outlaws are gay? Joining Lawrence to consider these and other questions is a panel carefully selected for both their ignorance and insensitivity: NCR's Very Senior Commentator Daniel Snorr; Russell Smithennenenen, freelance terror hunter and host of NCR's "Sporty Guns"; and Barney Frank, one of two openly gay members of Congress. live @killradio, 7/1/08.

In this episode, Veri is joined in the studio by Condoleezza Rice and the rock band KISS, including Gene “The Demon” Simmons, Paul “Star Child” Stanley, Ace “Space Ace” Frehley and Peter “The Cat?” Criss. Thanks to a chance meeting at a Swedish hotel between the Secretary of the State and the legendary make-up wearing, fire-breathing rockers, a strange and beautiful alliance was born. The band members have announced their desire to help the Secretary in her War on Terror by offering up recruits from their very own KISS Army. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, June 24, 2008, at 7:40 pm or so PST.

In this program, you'll hear a special edition of Very Gross' Fluff Air with special guests, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Prime Minister Tony Blair. Tony and Dick take listener calls, and one of those lucky listeners scores Mr. Cheney's snappy plaid suit! Huzzah. This program was recorded live at KPFK 90.7 FM on July 23, 2007. Many many thanks to Christine Blosdale, Alan Minsky, Chris Burnett, Indymedia On Air and killradio.org.

Yes, I thought we would be back this week with the latest headlines. Apparently not. But this one's good. Enjoy, and see you next time.

In this "encore presentation," you'll hear a story about bombing Iran from more than a year ago that might as well have been written yesterday; plus you'll hear a story about Tom Vilsack, a guy who briefly was running for President, that definitely sounds like it's from way before yesterday. Plus: ancient Oscar coverage! Smell the fun. We're back next week with lively new goods for you. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 at 7:00 pm or so PST.

In this episode, guest host Lawrence O'Rabia looks at the results of the last Democratic primaries and asks, "Is this shit finally over?" Joining him to answer that question are NCR reporters Adam Cockbird and Snide Beguiler, in the field (and a field) in Montana and South Dakota (both of them may have been killed.) Lawrence is also joined in studio by NCR Very Senior Commentator Daniel Snorr, Youth Correspondent Travis McCormack, Imaginary Friend Howie The Hippo, Dick Fuckin' Cheney and Jar Jar Binks.

In this episode, Borrin looks toward the general election match-up between Senators John McCain and Barack Obama. Who will win? What will be the defining issues of the campaign? Joining Borrin to consider these and far too many other questions are two so-called experts from both sides of the debate: Democratic loudmouth James Carville, and Republican curmudgeon Bob Novak. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, May 27, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

Due to technical difficulties completely beyond our control, our show was performed tonight, but apparently not recorded. Curses and drat! No matter: we will do it again next week, with failsafes. In the meanwhile, please enjoy this special show. It aggregates together some of our favorites from five years of National Corporate Radio ... and that was in 2006. We'll be back next week with an even better performance of our new show.

This is an NCR News Special Presentation, "Dick Cheney: An Exercise in Frustration." The program carefully examines the agonizing yet successful life of our current Vice President, from his humble beginning as a grouchy infant through his little known "hippie phase" and through to the present, where he has very nearly achieved his goal of world domination. And yet somehow, he still comes off like a Dick. This program was recorded live at killradio a while back -- sometime in the fall of 2005. Yes, we've been around a while ... Unfortunately this program has been edited for radio airplay, but it's still good even without the swearing.

In this episode of "What's the Point?" guest host Lawrence O'Rabia talks about the interminable Democratic race with a cavalcade of idiots. NCR correspondent Snide Beguiler provides insightful coverage of a North Carolina bluegrass festival, while NCR correspondent Adam Cockbird covers the Indiana primary from India. Meanwhile, Lawrence hashes out what it all means with professional award winner Al Gore, NCR youth correspondent Travis McCormick, Senator John McCain and Galactic Senator Jar Jar Binks. Our sincere apologies for some technical snafus. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, May 6, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

In this special "What's the Point?" Very Senior NCR Commentator hosts a Lincoln/Douglas-style debate (or so he claims) between Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Media critics are already calling this debate by far the worst of the entire campaign, even worse than the one ABC hosted in Pennsylvania -- and that's saying something. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, April 29, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

This Earth Day edition of "What's the Point?" features discussion of what the hell is going on with our environment. Guests include former Vice President and professional award winner Al Gore; NCR Very Senior Commentator Daniel Snorr; and NCR's resident weatherologist Ira Frodo. On "Reporter's Scrapheap," NCR correspondent reports from Pittsburgh through an astoundingly clear connection on the results of the Pennsylvania Democratic primary. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, April 22, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

On this Tax Day edition of "What's the Point?" Borrin examines where your tax dollars are going with several incompetent guests: "Sporty Guns" host Russell Smithennenenen, Congressman Dennis Kucinich and former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, April 15, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

Guest host Lawrence O'Rabia explores issues of the day on "What's the Point?" In this episode, Lawrence discusses the Iraq War and the report being made to the Senate on progress there (or the lack of it.) Guests include Army General David Petraeus, NCR Very Senior Commentator Daniel Snorr, Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, and everyone's favorite Imaginary Friend, Howie the Hippo. This program was recorded live at killradio on Tuesday, April 8, 2008, at 7:00 pm or so PST.

Photo courtesy powertothepenguins.com and Meghann McCroy Photography.

This episode of “All Things Condescended” features the tale of a sordid love affair between Democratic rivals Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama; an interview with Serge, President Bush’s best friend in Iraq, and how he’s not working; new events proposed by the Chinese government for the Olympics in Beijing; an interview with a downtrodden banker who's had to sell at least one of his Aston Martins; and commentary from NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr. Use it well.