NCR: National Corporate Radio News

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at our Overachiever-In-Chief. President Barack Obama is pursuing ambitious policies right now on a variety of fronts. From peace in the Middle East to health care to an energy policy that will address the threat of global warming, there’s hardly an aspect of our lives that Obama doesn’t want to change. But will it be for the better? Joining Borrin to contemplate just what all this change means is the Changemesiter himself, President Barack Obama. He joins the program on the line from space. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean, and in space, on June 30, 2009 at about 7:30 pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin asks, what the fuck is happening in Iran? A disputed election result earlier this month has escalated from concern about the integrity of the vote to major street protests, internal rifts within Iran’s ruling coalition and for the first time in thirty years, talk of another revolution. Is there any real chance of that happening, or does that just sound cool to people sitting in their liberal ivory towers? Do you wish you had a liberal ivory tower to call your own? No? And what’s at stake for America in this internal Iranian conflict? Joining Borrin to talk about is Grand Ayatollah Ali “Al” Khomeini, who is visiting Los Angeles and just learned to speak English fluently this week. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on June 23, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the pm PST.

In this enthralling episode, Borrin examines the Obama administration's foray into the morass of health care reform. President Obama said on the campaign trail that he intended to make health care a reality for every American citizen, especially the 45 million who do without it right now. Yesterday he addressed the American Medical Association, and Congress is already wrangling over new legislation to make health care for everyone a reality. Can he do it? Is the status quo really so bad? If you’re sick, isn’t that just because you turned your back on God? Joining us to opine uselessly about it are three guests of little distinction: Internet-educated Doctor Anton Le Yummy, shrill liberal columnist Robert Squeal, and a man in dire need of better health, NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr. This program was recorded with the brand new setup at the home of Honky Bean on June 16, 2009 at 7:30 or so pm PST.

NCR is calling in sick this week ... Lakers sick. Instead, we offer this post-election wrap-up from last fall. Host Borrin Onley discusses the amazingness of Obama's victorious victory with so many people, the studio still smells like feet. Guests include Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, youth correspondent Travis McCormack, very senior analyst Daniel Snorr, commentator Mara Rightwing, Al Gore, Alan Greenspan, Hillary Clinton, Jar Jar Binks and even Ralph Nader. Things get messy when Sarah's entourage of vehicles blocks everyone in, and Ralph Nader crashes her impromptu block party. Dick Cheney does not get a sundae and is pissed. This program was recorded at Honky Bean Studios on November 15, 2008 at a comfortable hour in the afternoon.

It's Bookweasel, a highly literate show tailor made for anyone too sophisticated to enjoy pop culture. In this episode, host Alouicious Thornberry sits down with highly acclaimed actor, writer, director, photographer and poet, Leonard Nimoy, and shows him no deference whatsoever. Is it logical? Not so much, and neither is the man who is/is not Spock. This program was recorded at the isgoodradio on Stardate 0602009 at 7:30 pm PST or so.

In this episode, Borrin explores a thorny question: should Bush administration “enhanced interrogation techniques,” aka “torture,” be prosecuted? Does Obama have the stones to do it, or is that just looking backward and not forward? What’s wrong with crushing a prisoner’s soul if it’s in defense of freedom? Does that make no sense at all? And really: who asked you? Joining Borrin are three guests he did ask: Dr. Anton Le Yummy, a psychologist who oversaw some of these enhanced interrogations; former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who may or may not have authorized some of these practices but can’t recall if he can recall; and the Grand Wizard of Torture himself, the Overlord and former Vice President, Dick Cheney. ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo! This program was recorded on May 5, 2009 at The isgoodradio Studio at about 7:30 pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin explores how the evil swine flu found its way to humans, other than through illegal immigrants. Joining him to share in the panic, racism and remarkable abundance of bestiality jokes are president of the Pork Producers' Alliance of America, Hammy Hamcock; and NCR Senior Science Correspondent Ira Frodo. It's sickening. This program was recorded at the new Echo Park home of isgoodradio on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 7:30-ish in the p.m.

On the eve of Earth Day, Borrin asks: what's the prognosis for our warming planet? What happens if it gets totally a lot hotter? Are we doing this? Can we stop it? And can I still get a Hummer in the parking lot? Joining Borrin to consider these and other prurient questions are professional award winner Al Gore, and dusty object in the corner Daniel Snorr. Much hot air is produced. This program was recorded in the hollow earth on April 21, 2009 at 7:30 or so PST.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at President Obama's first overseas trip and asks: how did he do? Unfortunately the only person ready with an answer is NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr. And "ready" is really a stretch here. Mr. Snorr arguably has spent more of the past week watching "America's Next Top Model" than the G20, NATO or European summits, and was not even aware that the President went to Iraq today. Oh well. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 7:30 pm or so.

In this episode, Borrin wonders aloud if the economic downturn our biggest threat to national security. And if so, can we make money on it? Joining Borrin in his wondering is chief economist from the Crazo Institute, Lindsey Brinksman, who is only too happy to teach Borrin the myriad ways of profiting from fear. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 7 pm or so PST.

In this episode, Borrin talks with Scamron CEO Rich Whiteman about the multimillion dollar bonuses his corporation has paid out to some of its worst executives, despite the fact that Scamron has been receiving federal bailout dollars since September of last year. Is Scamron too big too fail? Are Rich Whiteman’s balls the biggest ever? Can a man fail upward all the way to Heaven? What’s fucking happening? Leave it to Borrin to not find out. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on March 17, 2008 at about 7:30 in the pm PST.

In this episode, Borrin explores the topic of foundering faith in America. Is our nation becoming less religious? Why has God forsaken us, or did we reject God first? Does that make us cooler than God? How can we be cooler than something that doesn’t exist? Does God exist? Is this thing on? Joining Borrin to answer these technical as well as existential questions are no esteemed guests. Instead, he's joined by Internet-educated scientist and research fellow at the Poseur Foundation, Dr. Anton Le Yummy; evangelical leader and founder of Focus on the Family, Dr. James Godson; and NCR youth correspondent Travis McCormick. This show is so fucking ridiculous it actually made us break, which I thought about cutting but instead, I left it in. This program was recorded at isgoodradio on March 10, 2009 at 7:30 in the p.m. PST.

In this episode, Borrin takes a look at Obama as a war President and asks: Too much of a wussy? Or not wuss enough? The President says he wants to bring the troops from home from Iraq, even as he steps up efforts to beat back a resurgent Taliban in Afghanistan. Is he too much of a chickenshit to get the job done? Or is retreating from Iraq actually a really bright idea, as opposed to invading in the first place which was actually, as it turns out, fucking retarded? Joining Borrin to figure this one out are former Vice President Dick Cheney, Scientologist and pretend military man Tom Cruise, and from space, the President himself. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 7:30 or so in the p.m. Apologies for some audio weirdness!

With the 81st Annual Academy Awards right around the corner, host Neal Barbarian speaks with New York Times film critic Bob Monotono to see if you're going to lose your office pool. Neal also asks if any of this matters in the context of the worst recession in our lifetimes, the answer to which is obviously that nothing matters more; plus, can Heath appreciate an Oscar from the other side? This program was recorded at isgoodradio on Feburary 17, 2009 at 7:30 in the pm, or so, PST.

In this episode, Borrin demonstrates that he just can’t stop dwelling on President Obama’s massive stimulus package. Joining Borrin to help him contemplate the sheer magnitude is President Obama himself, who actually thought it would be worth his time to appear on this program. He was mistaken. This program was recorded at isgoodradio on February 10, 2009 at 7:30 pm or so PST. Next week: a better signal to noise ratio! Yeah!

In this episode, Borrin carefully examines President Obama’s giant stimulus package and can't help but ask: is it so big because he’s black? Will a big package be more stimulating? And are Republicans voting against it because they’re jealous? Joining Borrin to consider these virile questions is a panel of men: conservative talk show host Rush Limphog and chief economist for the increasingly irrelevant Crazo Institute, Lindsey Brinksman. The solutions these three men come with will probably either get them thrown in jail, or nominated for a Nobel Prize in Economics. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio (www.isgoodradio.com) on February 3, 2009 at 7:30 pm or so PST.

In this episode, host Borrin Onley observes that President Barack Obama has only been in office for one week. Are you disappointed yet? How long will it take the Changemaster to let you down? Maybe his guests can help. Joining Borrin to feel the winds of change are NCR Very Senior News Analyst Daniel Snorr and Democratic Whizbanger James Carville. In Reporter’s Scrapheap, Borrin asks Rod Blagojevich a few questions, and gets more profanity in a few minutes than some people get all year. God love that hirsute man. This program was recorded live at isgoodradio on January 27, 2009 at 7:30 pm or so PST.

Want to tune in to our Inauguration parody, but just don’t have an hour to spare? As a bonus, we’ve included here the NCR version of Obama’s Inaugural Address, all by its lonesome, for your listening pleasure. Feel the hopeful change as you hear this inspiring and profoundly stupid speech. Thank you and God bless this funky country.

It’s a Special Inauguration Edition of All Things Condescended, with a juicy “What’s The Point?” inside! And it is a doozie. Hear a report from the raucous streets of D.C.; a “What’s The Point?” retrospective of Bush’s legacy, featuring Lawrence O’Rabia, Condi Rice, Daniel Snorr, Pamela Des Barres, Travis McCormick, Jar Jar Binks, Dick Cheney, Mara Rightwing and the 43rd President himself; the Inauguration ceremony, and our new President’s Inaugural Address; a sales pitch for Barack Obama commemorative crap; extensive coverage of President Obama’s prodigious Inaugural balls; and, surprises, of the supernatural kind. Wow.

A new era has begun. It’ll be a challenging one, particularly for satirists. But every step, half-step and misstep of the way, NCR will be there, misguiding you through the icy waters to come. Hang on tight!

In this mercifully short episode, guest host Daniel Snorr pisses uselessly on the third rail of American politics, the Israel/Palestine crisis. Joining him to push the level of discourse to a new low is "journalist," professional opportunist and forbidden guest, Joe The Plumber. Daniel and Joe combine forces to bring you a program so ignorant and tasteless, Sean Hannity may want to have them both on next week. This program was recorded at the House of Honky Bean on January 23, 2009 at 8 pm or so PST.

Next week: Inauguration Special. Be afraid ...